I’ve been on 1 date 10 years after he died and felt like I was cheating on him. We grieve and grieve…and the pain lightens and breathing gets a bit easier….but there is always that shadow of sadness and loneliness that our spouse has left behind. Had I stayed, I would’ve caught that he was rapidly deteriorating, made them act faster & he might still be alive. Next year at this time, we'll still be sad, but maybe we won't have the crazy thoughts in our heads. We were married 10 years ago and bought our bungalow soon after Everything in it we chose together and as I said before I am nervous at night so don’t sleep. I LOOK forward to the forever together part too. I am so lonely, so sad. I’m so lucky and absolutely blessed that he chose me to be his forever partner and love of his life…..I love the way he loved me. He had Parkinson’s disease and dementia. He was perfectly healthy and young (59) and had a fatal illness with no cure. I was 39 when my 38 year old wife died. Dianna. I have had to ask for help and hire for everything that I can’t do. Adjusting to life alone after your husband dies – especially after years of marriage – is one of the most stressful transitions you’ll ever experience. I lost my husband of 49 years 5 years ago and I’m ‘just beginning to feel better. Christine, Thank you so much for sending me a letter. If I can give advice…protect yourself. A different type of growing up. Money is tight with just me to pay for everything. Just want to cry till the pain goes away! I honour here memory by doing things the way she did them. Feel whatever you feel and let the tears fall when they do. 2008 brought heartache when he had brain surgery for chiari malformation, he was disable from then on and the longer we ere married the more I became his caregiver. "There are patients here who'd kill to walk in your shoes," one nurse had told him. I am 71 years old, and we will be married 57 years on May 19. Even when Family / people are around I feel so alone with out him. Ease be strong and I pray to hear from you . If you would like to stay in touch, please do. Nurse your heart each day. You are stronger than you think.❤️. He works and supports himself. My buddy is gone and now I’m left to raise our 4 and 11 year old alone. Then come to find out, no one would rent to me. The one person who meant the world to me is gone. The new pastor is wonderful and very kind to me. Do not know who I am anymore just drifting in a disassociated haze. But, when I think of eternity, I feel dead in that love spot. But he was clearly met by his father. God has carried me this far. I go to the doctor and have been to the hospital 3 times thinking I was having a heartattack. This is how I feel about my husband. I know that he wants me to get on with life but it’s never the same when you lived with someone for that many years. I am on medication now. The only relief I get is when sleep mercifully comes. Only his social security will be coming which will not be enough. Someone's yelling 'Pete! Nothing helped. Take time to miss her and to grieve her. Being at home is lonely and all the memories, although good actually make me sad. You mean my husband is now part of my past? Life changes, it won’t be the same,. "He wants to talk now." Just get through the days as best you can. We'd been on the phone for about 45 minutes. The social worker on the palliative care floor was very helpful in directing me to resources and people. This wouldn’t be my first choice on how to adjust to life alone after my husband dies; I cherish my solitude and space! I can’t imagine how hard this is, the unknown is more difficult to bear than the known. Sorry, Deborah. Then the doubt set in. Thank you again Dianna for responding to me. I don’t tell my children how I feel and they don’t live close to hand anyway. I can’t find joy in anything. I was a supervisor. So, when did she know she had it? There are days when i don’t even get out of bed, i just don’t know what to do or how to live by myself. The days will hurt, the first year does. We live because we have that option (our husbands didn’t) I accept God is sovereign and he love us perfectly. So… where do l go from here? You can make it through. God bless you.?? It won’t be a month or year. Reading other people comment is helping me a great deal. He was my rock. God bless the widows and widowers and all who dare to love what death can steal. Now there is nothing to look forward to at 71 years old lady with no hair and no future. One thing led to another and we began to see one another. He just got worse, and because I’m not rich , nor did they offer, help never came as I continued to hope tomorrow would bring him back to me full aware and we could talk about what happened, hugging him for all Im worth. Alone after 29 years of marriage. (RUN from these men!) I am coming toward these days fearfully as well. Getting a pet will not be for everyone, it’s not a silly idea though. "I tell my friends I had a yearlong interview with you," she said to me recently. I’m very blessed. It is totally different when you lose a husband. I was so lucky to meet my second husband and we were married for 10 wonderful years. My beloved husband died three years ago today, after losing a fight with cancer for 14 months. You must have been in complete shock. I’m frozen…yes frozen is my word. My husband died in 2005. Dear Carla He loved you so much. We cry. He’s gone, I’m alone and I will never see him again. The house is just as it was when he was alive. My husband has end stage pulmonary fibrosis and we will lose him unless God heals him with a miracle. If you are moving countries or are moving very far, thus making any form of visiting impossible, and heck even if you are not moving countries but are simply getting tired of visiting, consider using Skype or Zoom or Microsoft Teams to talk with your mom from afar. Pray for strength for your journey with your husband and ask others to pray for you as well. I wish you the best in this fast approaching New Year. Yes, cancer is so unfair. Be gentle with yourself. Even when I didn’t pray, didn’t even want God, I’m thankful He didn’t fail me. I have two grown sons but nothing or no one can take the place of my husband. My life is very lonely but I have joined a few groups and keep myself busy but it doesn’t take away the pain of being alone. He was only 47. I will miss him deeply forever…..xxx, Lou The holidays were pretty tough but I made it through. I began to ask her about how it works, the mechanics of reading, of seeing spirits. But I look at life as a mystery that needs to unfold. Friends, family, and neighbors are wonderful, but they are not my Bob and can never take his place. */. I get it completely. However, I really wanted you to know that I care. I am 63. Learn how your comment data is processed. I hate this. Alessandra, your husband is part of your son. A few weeks later, Peter's daughter Caroline got her first big break as an actor on a new TV show called Proof, about a group of people trying to determine definitively whether there's life after death. Which is a lot! !! Take it one minute, hour, or day at a time, even when you feel like you will break. You may be able to explain some of them away, but not all, I'll wager. I lost my husband August 1 2019 to stage 4 kidney cancer . The legacy he left for me is our 2 adult children & grandbabies. I can only imagine what you’re going through. Usually your local Hospice will running different groups and may offer counseling. I'm a friend of X and Y, and I know you've worked with them. I’m one of many that normally decorate November 1st. After 5 days.it was over and he was gone forever. I just ache for him. I need to set time aside each day to think and pray about everything related to my husband; past, present and future. I know that you are grieving. God is leading me. I honestly am not ready. Now I am beginning to want to leave here. He would never take His hand off of you. Thank you Rose for your last message.